juliannechat

Find the dog in this picture --> Dogs

You can click on each picture to see it "full size." [Most of the time, unless "an error occurred." Retrying usually works. Two full size versions are currently sidewise.]

Starting with the easy ones. Here's Luna, the dog you're looking for. 

Indoors | Easy

Indoors | Medium

Indoors | Medium

Outdoors | Easy

 

 

 

 

Outdoors | Almost Easy

Outdoors | Medium

Outdoors | Expert

Outdoor | More Expert (last one!)

Poems for Darcy and Bennet --> Dogs

At the end of 2023 we adopted a brother and sister, five years old, about 20 pounds each. Their build and coats and ears and teeth and personalities differ slightly in interesting ways. But they both have small sad (sweet!) beagle faces, and tails that curl at exactly the same angle.

Miss Bennet (Bennet, Lizzy, g'girl etc) has gold fur with some black in it. Mr Darcy (Darcy, Fitzy, g'boy) has black fur with some gold. After an initial period of adjustment they are flourishing.

Here are the first three poems we've written for them, in order of authoring. (Val's is third, and its first and the last lines are the same.) Without further ado.

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With your tiny paws and knees,
you can't catch those those since they climb trees. 
You can't bite those since they have wings,
but we'll do other awesome things!

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[for Darcy]

Don't poop under the lilacs!
You know I hate it there.
Why don't you poop like Bennet,
out in the open air?

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I have two doggies that I love
When in bed I have to shove
Them aside so I can sleep
I have two doggies that I'll keep

I have two doggies I adore
They like to bark beside the door
So they can go outside to play
I have two doggies here to stay

I have two doggies next to me
Upon my lap and on my knee
They are a blessing from above
I have two doggies that I love

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Remembering Lola and Luna --> Dogs

Trigger warning: memorial posting. Much better: a "spot the dog" game with Luna's pictures.

If the pictures don't load, here or there, just refresh.

Lola stayed with us because her human pack members were ill. (I think her private Instagram may have been @lola_the_wonder_dog?) We were Luna's fourth and "forever" home. 

Lola was a Lab/Akita mix, and Luna was Chihuahua/Terrier. Their heads had different shapes, but from the front that wasn't as obvious.

Lola's human pack did the official memorial, but I wrote a rhyme:

 

Lola was the leader of the Avenues pack

Once she arrived, didn't want to give her back

We loved her a lot, and we'll never forget

Lola the wonder dog, the world's greatest pet

 

"World's greatest pet:" likely every "dog person" can say the same. 

Click on this link (PDF) to read my poem_for_Luna. Since I have almost no words, it's short. 

 

Here's a photo from right after Lola arrived. Her mom brought her bed, but she liked the cool tiles. Luna is not sure what to make of it all.

 

Watering a tree

It has been a hot summer. The autumn rains are "late." The tree is dropping small green branches, not just brown ones.

Last fall I asked the arborist what I needed to do for the ongoing health of the tree. He said, "Nothing! This is a Western Hemlock in the Willamette Valley! This is its native habitat." Exactly. 

It's part of a grove of older trees. Their roots are deep in the water table. Or were.

I want to tell the tree, I'm here. I will be doing whatever I can to help. On my watch, no one will hammer nails into your trunk to put up clotheslines. Even if I can't fulfill all its needs for water, getting any water to its roots will be a sort of message. Won't it?

It's also frustrating that I can't speak directly to my body. I can only walk farther distances and lift heavier objects. Heart and lungs and muscles, you will be needed.

The tree is on a slight rise, so water from a hose would run down and away. I spent the night dreaming through the issues. At dawn I went out and tried this:

I picked the best pair of big roots to dig between, and cleared away acorns (etc), and dug somewhat below the surrounding soil. In that hole I put a small flowerpot with just ONE downward-facing hole.

My greatest fear was that the water would go sideways, not down. I patted the nearby ground every minute or so ... but the ground immediately beneath the pot seemed to be thirsty. 

I took these pictures at the end of the experiment, when I realized I'd want documentation, after I'd let ~3.5 gallons be sucked down through that tiny hole. That's still a tiny amount for a tree this size.  A wave, "hello."

This next picture shows the size of the trunk (gallon containers for scale). If we decide to pull down that gazebo (currently under review) we'll be able to have parties under the tree.

I'm guessing that "hello" to a tree this size might involve doing this every day or so until the rains return. On weekdays I won't have time to do this in the morning. Restful break before bed? Next summer I could rig up a drip system? 

I will never tire of this view:

The gold is from the sunrise.

 

 

Notes (almost always longer than the posting itself)

Thanks for reading!

I'm using "the tree" because I don't know its name. Perhaps in time it will tell me. There is one more tree, also currently nameless, handling the drought better. I've taken care of its issue, removing the drought-resistant thorns and underbrush around its trunk. Now the squirrels can once again run up and down, chittering. In my imagination it missed them and is quietly glad they have returned.

So far the dogs haven't chased the squirrels, or even seemed to mind them.

Both of the trees' trunks have nails pounded in, with bits of thin time-blackened rope hanging from the nails. I'm now familiar with the DIY stylings of the family we bought this house from; this doesn't seem like their work. 

In the 60s a developer laid out these tract houses around the groves. Yards and streets are shaped so that each yard contains two or three trees. My street is part of a numbered grid but my "block" curves like a pretzel. Lots of this in Portland.  

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Before we bought Canem Lucus ("Grove of Dogs" - I like the English) I drove Dad by to see it from the street. "I worry that tree is dead," I said, pointing to the red/brown sections at the ends of the branches.

Dad said, "I don't think that tree is dead." He gave me the name of his arborist. 

In the previous May we'd experienced a serious heat dome in which air temperatures reached 116 F. (I'd only lived in the PNW for 10 years and it was the first I'd experienced. Likely not the last.) Driving through this neighborhood I could see signs of damage on many trees. Amateur theories: this tree was one of the damaged ones because (1) after an extra-wet spring, it had chosen to unfurl some of its tender new bits that week, so they were more easily crisped, and (2) it was in the front of the grove, so to some extent it took the hit and sheltered the others.

Isaac from Honl Tree Care said that it didn't make sense to send arborists out to the end of each fragile branch (the best way to trim) to clean up the dry sections. "We have about thirty of these that we're monitoring." I said I would check in to see whether they'd figured out anything that helped. The tree recovered somewhat over the winter; the burned bits gradually fell off and the rest kept growing.   

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In the back of Rob's and my house in Needham stood an amazingly tall hemlock. It featured in one of my better poems (not a high bar). Our tree service would "feed" it by sticking a long thin (noun?) into the soil near its roots, to release nutrients. There's more to be said about this house and the years I spent in it with Rob. I find pretending to "own" "property" (two problematic words) both thrilling and emotionally draining. And here we go again. 

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Yes, my version of ST:TNG's The Inner Light. Theirs is stronger. But this is mine.

Now I've got myself thinking of Ann Elk ("my theory, which is mine"). Misogynist belittling of female-presenting scholars, who have a hard enough time of it already? Representation of a non-binary person that was pretty good for its time? Funny because aspects are universal? Let's discuss!

For the record, I am also "the bearded lady" mentioned in Richard Thompson's "Wall of Death." 

Only one question matters

 

One question for each of us: 

Are you working to keep our planet habitable by the living creatures and plants we have now?

Or are you ignoring the problem or even working against our common goal?

Now this is the only question.

 

Jacques Ellul said, don't get distracted. If we get distracted [1] we'll become extinct.

I don't care about people's reasons for working for change. Just so they act.

 

Two eloquent essays (rants): 

What Do You Call The Feeling Of A Dying Planet? by umair haque 

People Will Look Back and Regret How They Acted by Jessica Wildfire

If you prefer long form, read the compilation All We Can Save or anything recent by Rebecca Solnit.

 

[1] Not a distraction: dismantling structural racism and making reparations to people whose ancestors we enslaved. (The concept of "Whiteness," concocted by the ruling class to divide workers from each other, hurts us all. Tim Wise explains this at more length.)  

It will be easier to save ourselves, all of us, if we stop thwarting the energy of Black people. (You can download a Citigroup report that documents part of the damage.) Let's unleash everyone. For a start we could stop suffocating people and shooting them in the back.

Each group of Americans who are not considered "white" has its own issues. For example, see Lily Zheng's To Dismantle Anti-Asian Racism, We Must Understand Its Roots. Listening to people directly hurt by racism (without asking them to fix or save us) is a path forward.

 

Speaking of reparations, did you know that the US recently pledged to pay reparations to countries who are suffering the most (and may already be under water) from the effect that the US "lifestyle" has had on the planet? The amounts weren't enough but they were a beginning. And now we've paused paying them: another decision putting me as a US taxpayer (since 1973) on the wrong side of this one question. Here Lawrence Lessig explains why the modern (currently used) filibuster is fraudulent (his words) and (my opinion) needs to die. 

 

Personally I answer YES but I'm not doing enough. I tell myself I'll do more, once I at least partially recover from Covid-19, and once I finish helping my sister get our parents' house on the market.

Most of the readers of this blog know me personally. Let's connect and talk (but not here). 

 

Just now I heard birds singing in the trees around my house. They have no idea, I thought to myself. They may not be able to do much, but we can.

questions part 1

It's 2022. Most books I read are set in a world we have already lost.

I'm thinking about this and invite others to do the same.

Because mourning [0] is one of the things I find weirdly helpful. Because avoiding mourning seems to slow the work I want to do, must do.

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Most books I read are set in a world we have already lost [1].

Many books I've read and collected [3] are also dependent (for the book to "work") on the authors & editors not having had the information / perspective that we have now. 

To state this more positively: our current knowledge and understanding cause them to be "not as good" any more, or they can only be read through a haze, with the sound of screaming in my brain.

(Who's we? Me and other [in some cases specifically White] "readers"? [5, 6])

 

 

[0] These rants on Medium are already sadly dated. Still, they're a record of what I was thinking at the time. These are friend links so you don't have to have a subscription.

[1] I was involved in Readercon from the time Margery Meadow told me about it (1990?) through 2003, after which I moved to Australia for awhile. One of the best parts (although there were many good parts) was coming up with panel ideas. One chunk of my brain hosts an ongoing "real year" panel, continuing the series originally sparked by a comment of John Clute's. "You're soaking in one now!"

Panel descriptions were beyond collaborative (although in that era Eric Van polished all the texts, so they had something of a consistent "almost too arch" tone [2]) but I do remember two discussions I'm proud of providing the initial spark for. One was eventually titled "Words as Magic" (in honor of GOH Lisa Tuttle) and the other one was sparked by my reading of a statement by Simone Weil. (My long time study of Weil has given special resonance to my friendship and sort-of-collaboration with Stephanie Strickland.)

Oh yes and who could forget "Weird Reading Strategies" (or some title like that). Tom Jackson was on that one and could likely remind me. His blogs are amazing and I'll link to them from here as soon as I write him to catch up and get the correct links out of his signature block.

[2] Eric's prose style can go to the edge and teeter there. Neurodiverse brains are more common that we once thought but I still cherish his. It helped that we had zero mutual sexual chemistry. Personal theory: "high dopamine people" [Eric told me I was one, based on my conversational style, and I didn't follow up to find out what he actually thought that meant] or at least I tend[ed, until I figured it out] to confuse "brains buzzing together" for actual sexual connection. To add here: links to Eric's work in multiple styles. 

[3] I have one shelf of books - collected in a project extending over decades - that I'm confident is unique in North America. Unique only because WHY would anyone want to collect these together? ... and North America because likely some Widener-style library in the UK has all of them simply by being comprehensive ... but anyway, these books related to the core of my identity for a long time, and they still do, but now I realize they're also problematic [5]. 

Am I just being coy here to no purpose? No, I'm going to write about this project and then perhaps sell it to a colonialist sympathizer [4], or if I can't find same, donate them somewhere. 

[4] And use the proceeds to buy more dark chocolate (sustainably harvested if possible).

[5] I haven't studied literature formally, except for one class with Paul Cantor in the 70s that I got a C in, and enjoyed the heck out of, so I use words in ways trained academics "would never." But if trained people are OK collaborating with me, I will bring something to the potluck. (Example: the Digital Arts & Culture conferences were fun because I could bring some digital!)

[6] Still here? This week I'm reading Lori Gottlieb's Maybe You Should Talk to Someone and Tema Okun's White Supremacy Culture website (2021 update of 1999 article). H/t to Shiny Flanary for mentioning it on a podcast (links coming). 

Steve Lewis' service

Steve Lewis died on Christmas Eve 2021. Here's a video of yesterday's service in his honor (YouTube, 93 minutes, on MCC Portland's channel).

I have had virtual communion with MCC Portland only a few times since the pandemic started. Today it was a joy to celebrate with the community again. I hurriedly found a Triscuit and splashed some Merlot in a tiny glass that we got at a local Cider Summit. 



[Photo feat. the bag the Triscuits were in, argh.]

Under present conditions it's an epic achievement to have a memorial service at all; I've lost many people for whom we've decided to celebrate their lives "later, when we are able to." I'm rethinking that now. 

For as long as I attended MCC, Steve and Charles were the guys who showed up. In addition to living their own full lives ... ahem, ahead of living full lives with large extended families and interesting jobs, Charles and Steve did the things that Jesus asked us to do, helping the sick, visiting captives in prison, and giving their own coats (physically or spiritually) to people who were cold. They always participated and often led in the hard work of nurturing our community life and challenging us to be better Christians, including engaging with the larger world in confronting hate and discrimination.

The son of a preacher, Steve was never himself preachy, but simply led by example. (Here's to everyone on the Congregational Life Team, one of the beating hearts of the church.) 

Yesterday Charles and Steve's birth family organized a wonderful memorial. Many were there in person and I got to hear musicians whom I miss a great deal. Nathan's preaching (and sung invitation to Communion) were as strong and beautiful as ever. Bernadette's and Charles' tributes wrapped things up. Charles was able to tell a short, fun story because Dave's eulogy and the impromptu contributions of other attendees and a lovely slide show had already sketched the big picture. 

I woke up this morning thinking about Steve's older brother Dave reminding us to "hold onto our fork" (just as if we were at a church potluck) because for Christians the best is yet to come. We celebrated Steve's life of adventure and love (all 4 kinds) and service, and all of Steve's people showed by example (Steve-ishly) the importance of holding each other in community. 

Loyalties and obligations #AnathemQuote

"To my fraas and suurs of the Ringing Vale I have a loyalty that can never be dissolved precisely because it is no rational thing but a bond like that of family. And I will not waste oxygen by discussing all of the nesting and overlapping loyalty groups to which I belong: this cell, the Mathic world, the Convox, the people of Arbre, and the community, extending even beyond the limits of this cosmos, that unites us with the likes of Jules Verne Durand."

"Say zhoost," answered the Laterran, which we'd figured out was his way of expressing approval.

"To untangle all acting loyalties and obligations is not possible in the thick of an Emergence, and so one falls back on simple responses that arise from one's training."

Fraa Osa is speaking to the members of Cell 317. Arsibalt had asked him about his loyalties.

This is #AnathemQuote number 3, and here I explain how quotations help me maintain my sanity. 

Think(ing) through possible outcomes #AnathemQuote

"Those who think through possible outcomes with discipline, forge connections, in so doing, to other cosmi in which those outcomes are more than mere possibilities. Such a consciousness is measurably, quantitatively different from one that has not undertaken the same work and so, yes, is able to make correct decisions in an Emergence when an untrained mind would be of little use." 

Fraa Jad is speaking to the members of Cell 317. (Which includes the character named Jules! Named for Jules Verne. But still.)

This is an #AnathemQuote posting, explained here. 

Wrong things #AnathemQuote

"I feel like a fool," Arsibalt said. He turned and looked at me. "When I think of all the things I've worried about and been afraid of in my life—and now it's plain that I've been scared of all the wrong things." 

 

How do you handle hard things, mentally and emotionally? I'd be interested to hear your strategies.

I handle "reality" by pondering what history will say about current events, about us. Trained as an unflinching historian, I use those perspectives / skills to help maintain whatever sanity I can.

When I need to reset my brain in temporary safety, I pick up a book about hard things that I've already read. There was a long period when that book was Diana Wynne Jones' The Homeward Bounders. I swapped phrases from it into my .sig file [1], choosing them according to fairly strict rules. The most important rule ("well, more of a guideline really"):

Text fragments chosen as .sigs must perform well apart from the books that gave them birth. Whether they are short or long, one sentence or many, they must truly be .sigs, able to provide inspiration or provocation even when utterly severed from the pages where you found them.

I have (in my old age) compassion for my pretentious younger self who wrote "utterly" in that paragraph of meta from the Sig-O-Matic. And for my present self who would rather talk about process than content and is doing so even now. This is who I am; no time to further "improve" before pressing the button. Anyway ... 

In the middle of everything [2], I'm going to post here when an Anathem [3] quote jumps out at me, and not worry about spoilers (but the plot is so complex that any one sentence isn't going to spoil it). This quote is from the night the Thousanders' tower was glowing red.

"I feel like a fool," Arsibalt said. He turned and looked at me. "When I think of all the things I've worried about and been afraid of in my life—and now it's plain that I've been scared of all the wrong things." 

 

 

[1] I have some of the short quotes from Homeward Bounders memorized, so here are two:

Before three of my own kind, I can speak the truth.

I think it's time for the vulture to come.

(Yeah, there's a Prometheus-sort-of-character in it. But each of us has our own vultures.)

The Sig-O-Matic has all "white" authors. To be specific (Tim Wise rant linked) whiteness is the problem, not the authors tagged with the label. Should Parts 3 - N address this or should I continue to let the project fade (a process that began when we all stopped needing .sig files anyway)? 

[2] Quoting (sloppily, not checking) from my screenplay: "Our game had more everything in it than I realized." That one's not online, but I have five one-page scripts online at HitRecord. Each of them contains the words, "Here's the thing..." (You might have to log in to see them. HitRecord is a community started by Joseph Gordon-Levitt with projects you might find nourishing.)

[3] Written by Neal Stephenson. I highly recommend this "novel of ideas," if you are willing to grapple with the info-dump (and own-language) of strong science fiction. My reading method is to start over after the first 150 pages ... as many times as it takes. 

Prolific, passionate writers who write more quickly than I can read sometimes produce one work where their particular skills luminously serve the themes (=author's obsessions). I am particularly fond of these. I would argue that Anathem is one, and another is The Gate To Women's Country by Sheri Tepper.

Another way to say this: sometimes I'll be memorizing one book by an author whose other stuff I no longer find readable for whatever reason. This blog is more about me than them, always.

Thank you for reading! And there's a question up there ... how are YOU coping?

Good long read: Sundman nonfiction

I'm a fan of John Sundman's trilogy [1], and have written about one part of it.

But I'm writing today to say, my socks have just been knocked off by nonfiction JS wrote in 2003 in Salon. Still totally relevant, with plenty of useful interviews and links and brain twisting questions.

Friends ask me for good long reads and here's just the thing to distract us during whatever extreme weather you are experiencing. Link titles are mine, since the original titles had that Salon archness that today is not working for me.

Part 1: In which JS gives new meaning to "decoding" the human genome
Part 2: ... and continues to do so, with special focus on eugenics

 

[1] Amazon doesn't show them as a trilogy because John published each of them under a slightly different name (which relates to its plot/theme). Here's his own web site with more info.