juliannechat

Gently: more coping

Overwhelming:

Before the weather patterns started to shift, our area got plenty of rain. Now it's getting even more rain, and stronger winds; some older trees are unable to stand tall in the ultra-wet ground. The owner of the white truck posted this picture on reddit in February. The rest of these photos are mine.

 

Recently I wrote about coping mechanisms I use when I try new games. Here I'll write about how I'm coping, generally. Thank you to Stephanie Strickland, who advises me to be fierce about ideas but gentle with myself during execution.

In October I saw the election result coming (relying on the work of others, plus my own prophetic instincts, hoping I was wrong). As an historian I know we're seeing the culmination of long term trends, each of which will take huge effort to reverse, and multi tasking is a myth (=task switching has a cost), and what I'm doing myself is outside the scope of this blog (so far), but here's the everyday news.

 

I have more (US-style) privilege than most people. (I lack the privileges I'd have if I were male and conventional looking. But I have lots of the others.) And I have amazing hair, and the precious ability to sleep at any time. I have interesting work and am seeking more (meta).

Despite this, our household (like so many others) is statistically on the edge. Mentioning that because in this area others are both statistically and physically on the edge, living in tents and tipped-over shopping carts on sidewalks and freeway embankments.

In 2016, partly because of two floods and one fire (a total of four moves), I postponed paying quarterly taxes on my part time consulting income. Paying my fair share of taxes is smart (public goods are good!) and it's given my political participation that extra edge and I'm not going to change now. For the moment, every extra cent goes to catching up on my taxes. 

In April I put the taxes ahead of my daily pills. But people noticed, so I'm back on those, plus dark chocolate. But I've put the taxes ahead of almost all of my financial support for my church, attending conferences, eating in restaurants, seeing movies and roller derby games (we missed Helsinki's visit this year but they won all four of their games; go Turtles!), therapy, dental care, and new clothes.

(When I ran out of Oil of Olay 7, I unpacked my stash of Estee Lauder face products for old ladies, especially the Advanced Night Repair and Idealist Even Skintone Illuminator, which I bought every quarter to get the tote bags but never thought I'd actually use.)   

Early in 2017, Val's work group closed down, taking with it our employer sponsored health care. Now we're paying for health care on an ACA plan. In the two month gap before Val started her new job, based on my 2016 1099s we were eligible for food bank assistance and glad to lean on the local Catholic-run charity. ("I outed us," Val said. "I said, 'my wife will like this', and they were still really nice.") And I'm selling and donating stuff, which also supports Val's drive for minimalism.

As a couple we've also postponed a long planned visit to Val's family and the adoption of a second dog. Our current dog's NSAIDs and "vibrant maturity" kibble are prioritized before our food so they're not in jeopardy. Here are some pictures of Ciarda, Val's long time companion. (In this album you'll see another fallen tree, and some comforters provided by Ingress team-mates after the fire. In that sterile extended stay motel room, if I couldn't have our old stuff, at least I wanted to cuddle up in somebody's old stuff. Thank you Diana and Shirley! Privilege again: we had renters' insurance ... the folks in apartment C did not ... ) 

 

I do not take this roof (over our heads) and the indoor plumbing for granted. We drink water and various kinds of tea. Our favorite grocery store keeps prices down by taking cash only (which makes the customer vibe "working poor" rather than "middle class folks paying with plastic, going into more debt to buy food" ... and it has employee profit sharing). Val cooks like an angel and I can assemble things that my odd taste buds find appealing. Here's my snack from the other day: broccoli stems from WinCo with deluxe dressing from Trader Joe's (payday splurge). It was delicious.

I bought that bowl at Crate & Barrel, with gift certificates that David Aldrich gave me for editing his travel writing. (I had refused to take money, but David was stubborn, and when I moved in 2001, I outfitted my entire kitchen with his gifts.)  

My major indulgence this year (still fairly affordable) was paid for before Val's job vanished: we're renting camping spaces in the high desert from which to watch this summer's total eclipse. It's 2.5 hours south of here on country roads, so we're planning on a 12-hour trip in eclipse-weekend traffic.

 

The 1960s civil rights movement was a beloved community with deep spiritual roots. Learning from their example, wanting to carry forward their work, many of us are doubling down on our spiritual exercises. Mine include specific practices of empathy, and here are photos of the two giraffes who remind me to do my stretches.

This (subtle) giraffe is on my desk at Parthenon. 

In context (with client-specific folder names redacted):

We're all in one (gorgeous, high-ceilinged) room, so the sign reminds me to avoid interrupting the others. You can also see my trusty stacks of index cards, and some with tasks listed on them (far right), and the wrapper from some 70% dark chocolate.

This (less subtle) giraffe is at home:

In context: 

Yes; although we do not have a fan in our bathroom, we have a window in our shower. Valerie has been doing some stand-up and recently wrote a comedy bit about this window. (And I ranted about this on reddit and got some support from other people in the same situation.)

 

All four of our apartment windows face a four lane highway that curves alongside our building. (As a Californian, since the road has a number, and numbered exits, and you can speed on it, I'm calling it a freeway.) While showering you can view the morning traffic, and assess the current weather.  

This is the striking view from our front porch (on the second floor, on the end of the building). The chairs on the wooden platform are for smokers. The field beyond them has been sold to the storage company whose building you can see at the far right, so it may not be here for much longer, but let's not dwell on that now. The freeway on-ramp is visible here as a thin grey line: 

If you walk past that picnic table, past the barbecues, you'll see the onramp and all four lanes:

The traffic is fun to watch (especially for Ciarda) but not fun to hear or feel; the rumbling of heavy trucks comes up through my pillow at night. I feel privileged (and Californian) to even be complaining about this: there are so many other people living on freeway embankments who don't have roofs, doors, running water ... 

Breathing, gently, gratefully. Coping.

Fighting entropy with Nerd Fitness

Entropy is frustrating.

I am thrilled with my new physical therapist. (Long waiting list to see her, for good reason.) At our first meeting, we had a grim laugh over the fact that when I was younger, dancing and jogging and lifting weights:

- It took me 8 months of steady work to get "in shape"

- It took only 3 weeks of stopping (doing nothing much) to slide "out" of shape

We believe that now, at age 58, it'll take even longer. And yet that is the entropy-fighting situation I'm facing, if I want to reduce my pain and fully experience what is left of my life. The alternatives are worse.

I have subscribed to the Nerd Fitness emails for many years (thank you Kate King for pointing them out) and paid for its academy and yoga program when they became available. Even though I don't primarily identify as a nerd (or geek), its realistic one-change-at-a-time approach makes sense to me. Trainer Staci Arduino's strength training journey (part 1) (part 2) is inspiring, and I appreciate the way founder Steve Kamb defends Staci against internet trolls who say they prefer her "before" pictures while supporting everyone's right to live fully in their own body.

But I didn't dive into their exercise program until this summer, when I heard from a friend's knee surgeon that exercise would not make our osteoarthritis any worse than it is. (We need to do things to reduce the inflammation but that's orthogonal to exercise.) So I dove into Nerd Fitness Bodyweight Level 1 faithfully for one month. And here's what happened:

- For the first two weeks I felt amazing. The effect on my mood and my energy was noticeable, far beyond the simple "I am doing something for myself" effect, although that was great too.

- By the third week, my body and brain had at least somewhat adjusted to the exercise, and instead of getting high from it, I became cranky when I postponed it even a few hours (to the end of the day).

- In the fifth week, my "good knee" went out (meaning that I was unable to walk on that leg). It had only done this once before in 58 years and I was terrified. Plus I was completely un-used to deploying my cane on that side of my body … actually that aspect was somewhat comical …

I tried to tune and cut back the exercises, and on the Friday night at the end of the fifth week I tossed and turned: if my knee kept doing this I would have to tell my wife that I couldn't attend the Labor Day music festival with her … I'd break it to her when I woke up … except that she woke me up with the news that our apartment building was on fire. All the people and animals got out safely, through a coincidence that I have chosen to regard as a miracle, but recovering from the fire added a huge chunk of extra work to the projects we already had on hand. Speaking of which: renters' insurance!

Fast forward to the present: the physical therapist says that my good knee was probably simply exhausted. She also says that I'm actually a level below where the Nerd Fitness programs start. Except that due to decades of compensating for my weaker knee I can lay my hands flat on the floor with straight legs and so there are a few exercises, like the "inchworm", where I can show that off. "Your planks are not bad, either."

On the sad side, I have extreme difficulty lifting either foot off the floor. (All my current favorite physical activities, including roller skating and water walking, don't require much in this area.) It's going to take lots of work to overcome mental blocks and physical entropy to get "up" to the Nerd Fitness starter level, balancing on one leg for five seconds (with good form).

So we've modified the starter level Nerd Fitness exercises so that they are customized to push me personally, and I'll do more cardio in the water (I was already doing some), and also by the way I need to slow everything down and stop using my back to "help" the other areas that are weaker. I'll do this new set of exercises for awhile and report back.

I will still use the amazing community support features and some of the recipes at Nerd Fitness. The workouts and the leveling-up system (which remind me of SuperBetter, which I still like, ah, better) are now all free to use, and the inspirational emails have always been free to anyone who wants to level up their life.

Risotto with chicken, bacon, mushrooms...

Risotto with chicken, bacon, and mushrooms

I've often seen risotto cooked but never managed it all the way by myself until tonight. In support of Australian hog farmers (pictured in great distress, holding sweet little piglets, on the front of today's Sydney Morning Herald) I have added bacon to our usual recipe. 

A few chicken breasts

Some bacon

Some onions

Some garlic

Some mushrooms

[All of the preceding cut in pieces, with fat removed if appropriate]

2 liters of packaged chicken stock

3 cups of arborio rice

Parmesan cheese (grated)

Oil of your choice

Seasonings of your choice

Maybe a splash of cream?

In a big pan on the stove, cook the chicken pieces with garlic and a bit of onion; set aside. Then cook the mushrooms; season to taste and set aside. Now put in bacon and the rest of the garlic and onion, and some oil; cook/fry this until the bacon is done and the onion is cooked as well. Pour in the rice and stir/cook until the rice is translucent. 

Meanwhile, bring the chicken stock to a boil. Once the rice is clear, add the stock to the rice mixture gradually, stirring constantly, trying to get the flavour of the stock (and bacon and garlic and onion) into the rice. Stir and cook until the liquid is absorbed, then add some more. When the rice has expanded and turned white again and the liquid is almost completely absorbed, put the chicken and mushrooms back in the pan... [At this point I called my friend and she stirred in a splash of cream and then we served it, with a dusting of grated parmesan on top.] 

Wholemeal Pikelets

Wholemeal Pikelets

Pikelets are small pancakes that Australians enjoy with their daily tea breaks. You can make savoury or sweet pikelets. The pikelets this recipe makes are a bit sweet, so better with sweet toppings (usually cream and jam, or butter and sprinkles, which in Australia are called "hundreds and thousands"). 

Note: Aussie measurements (1 cup = 250 ml). Makes 10-20 pikelets depending on size.

1 cup wholemeal self-raising flour

1/4 cup raw sugar

1 egg

2/3 cup buttermilk

splash of regular milk (any fat content)

Sift flour into bowl and mix in sugar. Make a well in the centre of the dry ingredients and put in the egg and buttermilk. Gradually stir until all dry ingredients are moistened and then beat until smooth. Add splashes of regular milk until the mixture is the right consistency to be poured onto a griddle (or into a frying pan). (Mixture will thicken while standing and so you may have to add more milk before pouring each batch.)

Drop tablespoonfuls of mixture onto a hot greased pan or griddle; when bubbles appear on top (and stay after popping), flip them to cook the other side, then lay onto a rack to cool. (Or eat them warm!)

Sun Drop Cake

Sun Drop is a sweet soft drink, but if you can't get a can of the real thing, you can substitute 7Up or Sprite - but not the diet versions. It's apparently best if you slightly undercook this cake before drizzling on the icing, because this makes the cake stay ultra moist. (As if humidity wouldn't keep it moist! - but I digress.)

US measurements; Aussies note that "pudding" means the creamy kind only.

part 1: Cake

1 box of lemon cake mix (any kind)
1 small box of instant lemon pudding (any kind)
3/4 c. cooking oil
3 eggs, beaten
1 can (12 oz.) Sun Drop, 7Up, or Sprite

Mix all ingredients together and bake in a Bundt, kugel, or similar ringed cake pan at 375 degrees F for 30 minutes. (This recipe doesn't say but depending on your pan you may wish to butter/flour it first.) Cool slightly and remove from pan.

part 2: Icing

1 cup confectioners' sugar
2 Tbsp. water
2 tsp. lemon extract

Mix ingredients together and pour over top of cake. Slice and serve.